Scratching away at what matters

A work in progress in my studio.

I used to painstakingly etch out the lines in my gold leaf paintings with a scratchy sculpting tool. As a result I have a seemingly permanently numb/sore index fingertip from having to apply so much pressure! But with my new engraving pen all that has changed and what relief!

I'm currently working on a big 'transformation' piece. I'm thinking about the alchemy of grief and how we can go along thinking we've got things all worked out, and then bam! Something happens and everything changes.

I think about the wisdom of the ancients and how they described the way our inner world becomes the outer world. They invite us to think about what it is we are holding onto. What we are focusing on. They help us get unstuck and give us ways to find jewels in unexpected places.
Admittedly, it can feel hard to find those jewels, and at times we may have to dig around in the dirt to reveal them, and they may surprise us with the forms they take, but they will be there somewhere.

The ancients invite us to think about what it is we direct our focus on, and help us get unstuck

This then begs another question, 'what does transformation mean to me?' I think to the experiences I have had accompanying people at the end of life and they help me ask myself, 'what really matters?', as a way of digging through the dirt for those jewels.

For me, this had led me to a a deep inward journey. Over the past decade of running my business, providing guidance, running workshops, working with people here and around the world, there seemed a pressure to get bigger, become more outward. But the jewels I am finding now are quieter, more inward, they invite me to become smaller, to stop trying to be everywhere all at once, but instead to focus on the things that really matter here now. This reveals itself as the need for solitary times for painting and writing, for companionable times with friends. It is time in the garden, working with the healing power of plants and in creating space for body and soul to be replenished.

Scratching away with this etching pen becomes a meditation, words are mantra, paint is an expression of soul. This leads me, art leads me to a place in the world that I can fill with peace.